Hi! Hope that all is well and on to Chapter Four! ... This chapter, entitled 'Great Expectations' is pretty straight forward but offers some good advice and insight none the less. Everyone is different in some way, and no one is ever just alike in there interests and abilities either. Our children have so much potential and it is very important for us to help our children find their talents and encourage them to use them to the fullest. It seems to be a very common story however, that parents push their kids to do good at what THEY WANT them to be good at, not what their children have natural talent in. Not all children will be good at sports, or playing instrumental music, or dancing, or speaking to crowds. And many times we all seem to have more than mediocre talents at many things, but these things are not what we are BEST at. As mothers, it is important for us to tap into what our children are BEST at and what they LIKE to do. Usually people enjoy doing what they are really good at. God gave us all a natural talent or talents! As our children grow they will also learn what their best abilities are without us pointing them out, but we should always encourage them in their endeavors. I remember when I realized that I was okay at basketball but I was better at other sports so I decided not to play after my freshman year. And then my senior year I quit the sport that I had loved most of all to try something new, which turned out to be one of the best things I ever did. Our children's interests will change just like our own and we should not pressure them to do something just because they ARE good at it or because they have done it for so long. Because they dont want that to be the main focus of their life, doesn't mean that they just flat out dont like it or consider it wasted time. If it helped them grow and gave them joy it was NEVER a waste of time. Karol lists four steps to help us recognize and develop our children's natural talents.
"Step #1: See the Potential"- Do not focus on our child's worst traits, or what they are not good at. If they arnt good at it there is no reason for us to PRESSURE them into it. Karol sugggests writing down any of the abilites or potential we might see in our children using the areas of growth including: 'mental, spiritual, physical and social'. Karol also makes the point to PRAY!! Pray that God will help you see their talents and that you might be able to help them find what abilities God has given them to develop and use. She also expounds on the point that I had made earlier... "An aptitude for the piano may offer your daughter a lifelong outlet for relaxation and pleasure, not a career at Carnegie Hall." Just because they are good at something and like it, does not mean that there are not other talents just waiting to be found and used!
"Step #2: Offer Opportunities for Growth"- This one is simple! Let our kids try their skills with many different things. Ice Skating or hockey if they might be great at roller blading, Dancing if they like to dance, Writing Club if they write well, Football, Theater, Drawing. If they want to do it, do what you can so that they can see if they might like it or be good at it. Just remember that we can only do so much, and we cant let our kids (or ourselves!) get burned out to the point we dont have an interest in doing anything. A GREAT point that Karol also makes is that we should not be worried if it seems like they are being left behind from their friends or other children they go to school with, for example, all of their friends are playing a certain sport and our kids just are not interested. They might have not realized that they might like it, or they may have realized that they like something more. They will develop at their own pace.
"Step #3: Set Realistic Goals": Realistic and measurable goals help us get to where we are heading. Set some goals with your children for what they might want to do and get better at but also be open to change. Help them think of ways that can help then reach their goal(s). Their minds can change in an instant! "Let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith." Hebrews 12:1-2.
"Step #4: Support Their Endeavors"- It is so important that we encourage our children if they do good and then they dont do so good! It can have a major impact on the person they will and are becoming. It has been found that people perform better when someone, especially family, is their to support them.
Jeremiah 29:11-13 -- "For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart."
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